It is said that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. In this case the squeaky wheel gets outed as a habitual bed wetter by a horde of Pinkerton gnomes, and the world gets to find out that:
talkingpotato made a pretty good living as a train robber nicknamed "the Scofflaw Kid" during the 1890's, then the automobile was invented and it all went to hell.
talkingpotato still hasn't forgiven NBC for canceling "Jesse."
talkingpotato wasn't built in a day, but would have been if not for a WORK STOPPAGE.
talkingpotato is better at tennis than Marat Safin, but significantly worse at BEING A TOOL.
talkingpotato spends every Thursday being ejected from the Supreme Court viewers gallery for making fun of Scalia's hair.
talkingpotato survived being between a rock and a hard place because they were VERY FAR APART.
talkingpotato was rendered speechless by the sleek lines and comfortable ride of the S80 luxury sedan, which is, in fact, a Volvo.
talkingpotato's gonads contain 10,000% of your daily recommended allowance of Lycopene, and are quite tasty when served in a nice hollandaise sauce.
talkingpotato has spent the last 3 years cultivating a fu manchu mustache that will ONE DAY RULE THE WORLD.
talkingpotato is planning to name her fifth child Kofi Annan, but not after the guy you're thinking of.
talkingpotato memorized the telephone exchanges of all the post offices in Great Britain while doing time for the murder of Mr. Boddy in the library with the DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS.
talkingpotato turned down an offer to serve as Chancellor of the Exchequer for the Thatcher government because she wanted to maintain her AMATEUR STATUS.
talkingpotato considers honesty to be the best policy in case of Polar Bear attack. It hasn't failed her yet.
talkingpotato is both a recovering anorexic and a budding bulimic.
talkingpotato is a captain of industry. What industry? PORN INDUSTRY!
talkingpotato mastered Othello in fourteen minutes, which is pretty shitty as lifetimes go.
talkingpotato feeds parking meters HAM SANDWICHES because it makes them CHOKE.
talkingpotato forgot the Alamo.
talkingpotato has recently put in a bid to be officially recognized as "God's One True Haberdasher."
talkingpotato thinks the best little whore house in Texas is no match for the BUNNY RANCH.
talkingpotato went AWOL as commander in chief of the U.S. Armed Forces to catch the end of a KISS reunion concert and would do it again in a HEARTBEAT.
talkingpotato owns a regulation air mattress but prefers to sleep on a bed of broken dreams.